Thursday, September 17, 2009

It actually happened

Yesterday I came home and decided not to run. I was not up to it. I'm down....

damn that mirror

You don't always take the time to reflect how things are going. Usually were all too busy vibrating at the speed of light to take notice of the big picture. Lately, I've had to reflect way more than I want to, and unfortuanately I've been seeing too much negative, too many setbacks, too much pressure, too many things that are not the way I would like them to be. Sucks how life happens sometimes. The issue is, how do you get out of the rut/ruts that life drops you in? What do you do when what you've been doing doesn't work? How do you deal with the situations that cause pain, stress, discomfort, fear, and sadness? How do YOU spell relief? SUCKS when you get in the habit of not slowing down to evaluate and take inventory of how things are going, and what you can do or not do to make things better. Then you come to one of life's roadblocks. SUCKS how powerless we are, and how stressful it is when you can't let go. I want things different, I want things better, I want the work stresses, parental illness, agravations, frustrations, inadequacies, fears, failures, remorsefulness et al to GO AWAY! I know first hand how Tyler Hamilton struggled/struggles. I know life has it's ups and downs, and right now I'm down on a number of levels. If anything this will be a reminder of how it WAS, and it will get better, but some of it has to do with my choices, and attitude. This is not looking easy. My head hurts....

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

time for a change

This latest round of life has me seriously considering a change in my personal life. Based on what I've learned, it's not unique to me, but it IS a decision that I've been contemplating for quite some time. It's odd, but it seems as if life is making the decision for me. I have been on the fence over this for a long time...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

because he's BAD!

Not sure how many of my long time followers of this blog (LOL) saw the opening of this years MTV music awards, but the tribute/medley to Michael Jackson was awesome. I had goosebumps watching Janet Jackson perform with her late brother on a giant screen behind her. God she must have been at a whole 'nother level to do that. It was great. Cheers to Janet, and there's absolutely no doubt - NOBODY can compare to what Michael Jackson gave to the music world. He was indeed the King of Pop...Jam ON!!!

Friday, September 11, 2009

SUCKS....

SUCKS, we had to rush my mom to the hospital last night. SUCKS that she has been afraid of doctors and medicine. SUCKS that I've been seeing her sick for the last few months. SUCKS that it is so scary to see and think about. SUCKS how it's upsetting my dad. SUCKS that I've been so scared and don't talk about it. SUCKS that I seen her in so much pain. SUCKS to think how afraid she is. SUCKS that I can't change anything. SUCKS that it's my mom. SUCKS that's it's taken such a negative toll on me. We did pull together last night,and were there for each other at the hospital and she's having surgery within a day, and I hope to God she finally gets better....

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Nine, Nine, Oh Nine

Not only is this an interesting date because of the sequence of numbers, 9/9/09, but a good time to change things up on a personal level. I've been contemplating a few new roads to travel down ,and this seems like the best time to do so , so without divulging my plans to all you long time paparazzi to run to the tabloids with, (LOL) lLet me just say, I am starting anew on a few different personal areas of my life. Some to start immediately, some to find my way into. Change of seasons change of reasons...

Monday, September 7, 2009

take the highway its faster...

It's pretty amazing, and likely a sign of the times. My cousin, and wife just had a baby. First thing I did when I heard she was in labor, TEXT my cousin good luck. My mom called us back later, she had her baby. As of this morning,I've seen and expressed well wishes to grandparents, and welcomed the baby in with well wishes and comments to thhe proud parents. I've also seen a collection of newborn photos as the morning has progressed. Right now it's 9am. A lot of family has done the same. ALL thru a social contact site. I work in technology, and at times it still amazes me when you notice things like the lines of INSTANT communication are out there and more imprtantly the preffered method of communication. Sign of the times, and like I said, my parents were calling me on their home phone, because thats how it was/is for them to keep in touch.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Getting dirty...

Man I gotta tell you, racing again was fun! It's definitely on the agenda for next season. Train on the road, kill in the woods!